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10.3 Skit - Jeff Watson Wager
Jeff Watson and Maria are in the ring, listening to the crowd boos them, when suddenly an interruption comes from over the loudspeakers. Wevv: Ahem! Please forgive this interruption, Paris, but I’m afraid it couldn't be helped. Watson and Maria turn back up the ramp, and there, on the video screen is Wevv Mang. Wevv is sitting a large chair. In the lower right corner of the screen, the words “Live, via Satellite from Sydney Australia” can be seen. In the background of the shot, the Four Season’s logo can be see on the wall. Wevv: Indeed, Paris, I’m glad you got released from jail early, because it would disappoint me to no end for you to forfeit this match due to a technicality. But I can see you made it, and I simply had to tell you – A Malaysian waiter appears next to Wevv and hands him a menu. Wevv: Pardon me. I think I’ll have with my lobster orzo with tomato dust, a bottle of your Penfolds Yattarna Chardonnay. Waiter: Excellent choice sir. Your meal will be with you shortly. Wevv: Thank you. Oh, sorry. How rude of me, but it IS lunchtime here in Sydney, and I am a bit peckish. Where was I? Oh yes. Your match against – Wevv picks up a scrap of paper. Wevv: Steven Taylor. I’m sorry, I don't know who that is. But what I do know is that we have a wager. My dear old friend Stan, who I hired after all, has agreed to these terms. Take good care of my yacht Stan, the fireworks for the Fourth are gorgeous on the lake. You see Paris, Chi-Town boys know how to do business. Now, let’s remind these cretins in Florida what’s at stake. Put down your grain alcohol, and leave you sisters alone for a couple of minutes you yokels, and listen closely. I know, thinking is scary to you folks, but trust me, when the police later ask you what you were doing tonight, this bit of information might come in handy. Wevv: You lose, I get to make another match, set the stipulations, AND pick the stakes. You win, and well, that’s not even worth talking about. I deal in reality. And the reality is that I have been thinking long and hard about what I want when you loose that match too. But, I’m a superstitious man, so I won't clutter up your tiny little mind with my complex thoughts. Just remember that I’ll be here, in Sydney, enjoying a delicious meal courtesy of the Four Seasons. Speaking of which… The waiter sets up a table in front of Wevv, and starts laying out plates. Another waiter appears with an open bottle and pouts Wevv a glass. Wevv swirls it and holds it up to the light. He sniffs the aroma, and then takes a sip. Wevv: AH! Exquisite! Well, don't wait on my account! Let’s get this started! (Wevv raises his glass to the camera, in a mock toast) Best of luck Paris! HA!